Christmas Tree

Decorating the tree is always much anticipated in the Benson household. Opening up the Christmas Box and unravelling the lights, unwrapping the baubles and uncovering all the forgotten books and other Christmassy bits and bobs is part of the magic of Christmas.

In my imaginary world of perfect parenting Frog and Rowdy dance around delicately and joyfully, carefully and precisely adorning the tree with each decoration, creating a symmetrical, sparkling vision of festivity.

The reality, of course, is different. I spend most of the time sweeping up broken glass baubles, shouting at the kids to put their slippers on and trying to pry the chocolate decorations out of their hot, sticky hands before they both end up in a completely demented sugar rush. Both children end up crying. The tree itself ends up totally lop-sided with the decorations hung on only two of its many branches and our angel looks as though she's hung herself.

But that moment when we've finished and we're all snuggled up on the sofa with Rowdy silenced into a hypnotic trance by the twinkly lights that's awesome!

An angel in our midst

No-one could be more excited than a six year old picked to play the Angel Gabriel in the school play. Not only a speaking part, but the part with the best costume!

Frog came home from school on Thursday last week the bearer of the news that she was the chosen one this year. To say she was thrilled would be a massive understatement (such awe, such wonder). Determined to be the best Angel Gabriel ever (no competiveness there then Frog?!) she announced that I needed to make her a new costume ... "the grim old thing at school mings, I just wouldn't be like a proper angel!"

Indeed.

So we did make a new a costume and as always when we make things it was huge fun and a great way to while away a winter weekend. And, of course there is the miracle of turning some scraps of fabric into a dress fit for an angel, the best angel ever of course.

Christmas Pudding

Christmas Pudding - evocative, sensory and luxurious; delicious, abundant and stirred with a wish. The subject of my favourite chapter in a book ever*, the beginning of Christmas, just a dessert but so much more.

This weekend we made our Christmas Puddings, a little late this year but hopefully not disasterously so. They take days of work but time is part of their luxury. From the soaking to the stirring to the steaming it takes its own time, there's no rushing a pudding.

Christmas is clearly a time for awe and wonder - and cooking is part of that for us. It's magical how some flour, sugar and butter can turn into so many different, delicious things. Throw in some spices and a handful of fruit and Christmas begins.

I'm going to try some new things this year - marshmallows from the Jamie Oliver mag, vanilla fudge from Life is Sweet (thanks Rose!) and gingerbread with 'stained glass' centres for our tree, my guess is they won't last 'til Christmas Day.

The kids love cooking but the wonder of making the pudding is extra special; as they stir and make their wish it's the first time in the year they think about Santa!!


*Oscar and Lucinda by Peter Carey

cup cakes

Nothing much to do with awe and wonder, but I'm really rather proud of these cupcakes I made for the Children in Need cake sale at school tomorrow.

I hope the children love them!

Diggers

It's always a treat in November when you have an unexpectedly sunny day. Today was one of those days: Sydney sky, sunny, not too cold. The perfect day to grab our micro scooters and race to Brockwell Park to feed the ducks. I love my micro scooter, I love how free it makes me feel and how quick it is to get places - even more I love the excuse my children give me to ride it!

We got waylaid on the way to the park by diggers. Any of you with boys will understand, you can't ever scoot past a digger.

They inspire awe (look at the size of that scoop!); they encourage wonder (I wonder what that bit's for?); there are questions that I can't answer (Who's driving? What's that man doing? What's that bit called?) and some I can (Why are they digging up the road? why are they wearing helmets?). We watched and chatted and watched some more.

It's lovely to scoot and it's nice to feed the ducks, but it's even lovelier to be side tracked on a sunny day by diggers. Such a luxury to forget the time and concentrate on what Rowdy is really interested in, his curiosity - awesome, wonderful.

London

One of the great things about living in London is that there is always something brilliant to do... even if it's doing not very much at all.

Often, on a rainy day - as we did this Tuesday - we'll hop on the bus, clamber up to the top deck, beg for the seats right at the front and see what sights we see. And we always see something awe inspiring. London is just like that, especially when you get to cross the bridges.

The Thames is a magnificent river, it's never the same no matter how many times you see it. It's steeped in history, saturated with myth and mystery and of course full of boats - sometimes really fast ones, which especially please Rowdy.

This particular Tuesday, cloaked in cloud of grey we marvelled at London's builders: the planners, architects, artists and engineers that created our beautiful city - from the elegance of the big wheel to the industrial beauty of the chinmeys at Battersea Power Station; from the curiosity of the statues of social science that grace Vauxhall bridge to Big Ben and its enormous bong, which we heard strike 10!

When you live here its easy to forget how beautiful London is, and what wonder mankind can create. The 80p bus ride on the No. 3, and the eyes and excitement of my children help me do just that.

Time Out

Being a working mum means never having quite enough time just to hang out with my kids. Every moment somehow needs to be filled, accounted for, drenched in quality.

Last week(half term), in a quest for simple hanging out time, I escaped. Packing the kids into the car straight after school we braved the M4, M5 and A30. A stop for sandwiches, hideous traffic in Bristol and eight hours of Radio 4 later we arrived in Porthcurno, Cornwall. It was silent and foggy, my phone wouldn't have signal for a week. Perfect!

Jo stayed til Monday, some friends visited for a couple days, the rest of the time was just the Frog, Rowdy and me.

There were so many magical moments and we had so much fun it would be impossible to write it all down. It was also so lazy and laid back that it would probably be very boring to read.

So, what was truly awesome: reconnecting with my children and thoroughly enjoying their company; feeling no pressure to do much other than just be together: to find shells on the beach, to laugh at things, to sing songs, to practise the three times table, to read stories all afternoon, to put on a wetsuit and swim in the sea for one last time before winter; all in all just hanging out - where the what is not important but the who is.

And one last awesome thing: the huge, huge smile on Rowdy's face when he appeared out of the water slide at Penzance Swimming Baths - one I won't forget!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porthcurno

Tickly toes

Last Friday, a gorgeous autumn (or hortum as a friend's little boy calls it) day, I took Rowdy to Dulwich Park to meet a friend and her little girl who is about nine months old.

Rowdy of course found the biggest, deepest puddle to ride his bike through, he shouted his way through lunch and climbed the Barbara Hepworth sculptures. He chased the horses, investigated the falling leaves and hid from us! His normal, loud, boisterous, labrador puppy-like self.

So, it was much to my surprise when he found a fluffy feather that he used it to tickle little Gwen's toes. It was so tender and so gentle and so tickly; she giggling, him too, truly delighted by making her laugh.

I love the interaction between children (most of the time), the genuine pleasure in making each other laugh, in having fun, in tickling.

Unicef

Claire Lancaster a friend and fellow blogger has asked me to point you in the direction of the pampers unicef promotion. Claire describes it beautifully so please click here to find out more... http://clairelancaster.wordpress.com/2009/10/05/unicef-pampers/

Do click on the link and/or make a donation.

New Life

We tend to do our weekly shopping at Brixton markets. It's just so much more fun than the supermarket (and the kids love to go to Rosie's cafe for a hot chocolate afterwards as a treat http://www.rosiesdelicafe.com/about.html).

One of our favourite shops is Nour. It's a strange shop, stacked floor to ceiling with stuff: sacks of rice, bags of chickpeas, every spice you can think of and many you can't. There are huge bunches of parsley and mint and coriander (perfect for tickling little boys), fruits and veg dependent on the season and about 200 different chilli sauces. Nour is always full of customers so with two children, a scooter & a bike and my massive granny shopping trolley it can be hard to get round.

We were in there other day and the children wandered off, talking to the many staff I assumed. They were quiet which always makes me suspicious; generally they are up to mischief of some sort or another*. Today however there was no mischief, just kittens. Tiny, really tiny, bundles of fluff: white, black, grey, a spoldge of orange; four teeny scatchy, sniffy pink noses; a muddle of whiskers; all cuddled up together in cardboard box. The children were captivated; tentatively touching and stroking, as gentle as only a young child with a small animal can be.

New life: a miracle always, full of promise and excitement certainly. And also, the tenderness my normally rowdy, boisterous children showed with these kittens was a pure and instinctive display of the human desire to protect and nuture. A beautiful moment that left me silent too.

Only the promise of asking Daddy if we could take one home eventually lured them away. (We did ask, he said no!).

*silent mischief has included: feeding all the fishfood to the fish, turning the bath into a swimming pool and flooding the bathroom (the dining room ceiling still bears the brown stains where the water dripped through) and locking themselves in a cupboard!

The power of creation

At the risk of sounding like an apple pie mom, I make quilts.

Last week Frog was helping me to finish off a quilt that was a gift for friend's new baby. I say help in the loosest possible way; it usually takes the form of emptying out all my buttons, ribbons and scraps of fabrics.

This time though she decided to make her own quilt. She chose her fabrics and cut them to size, found some fleece to quilt with and sandwiched it together. She shoved me off the sewing machine and with her toes barely able to touch the peddle she did indeed make her own quilt.

The pleasure she had in making her quilt and the intense pride in her handiwork was truly an awe & wonder moment.

The power of creation: taking basic raw materials and making them into something beautiful, valuable and to be treasured is such a gift. It feels great when you say, "I made that!"

And now I really do sound like an apple pie mom!

The magic of water parts 2 & 3

Part 2: The bank holiday weekend saw a visit to friends in Broadstairs. Hot weather, sun-kissed kids, a sandy beach with rock pools to explore: pure bliss. The five year olds couldn't be convinced to leave the water and body boarded 'til their lips turned blue. The toddlers collected sea weed, built castles and chased the waves.

The days passed with no arguments, no nagging and (almost) no TV - an awesome feat! Until Tuesday, when the sun went in, the mummies had a hangover and the tantrums returned. We made a hasty retreat back to the city before we over-stayed our welcome.

Part 3: Sunday was the last day of the school holidays. We'd planned a lazy day at home, preparing for school, but by about 10 in the morning everyone was scratching to go out. We decided on Labanese food for lunch and took a trip to Edgware Road. When full of hummus, baba ganoush and vine leaves, we strolled across the road to Hyde Park to take a look at the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain. We'd not been before.

It's a brilliant memorial and a fantastic fountain. I clearly never knew Diana but I think she would have approved; a huge circle of laughing splashing kids dressed only in their pants and vests!

The unplanned wet vests and going home 'commando' only serve to make it more fun.

http://www.royalparks.org.uk/parks/hyde_park/diana_memorial.cfm

The mysteries of illness

Sadly this post is not strictly about awe and wonder, but it made me smile and I hope it does you too.

Frog has done precious little homework this holiday. Not that that's a bad thing in itself; I just didn't want her to forget everything while on school holidays. So in my usual I-work-in-media-therefore-I'm-a-deadline-junkie kind of way I thought we could use the last week to 'do a project'. Frog could choose the topic, I'd decide what to do.

My vision: Frog would choose something gorgeous, girlie and glamorous: think High School Musical with added glitter. We could write the words to a song, learn a dance and count the number of characters (or something like that). Perfect for a bit of togetherness and lots of fun.

I made the suggestion about the project to her and it was greeted with reserved enthusiasm but not total dismissal. I explained how it would work and made some suggestions for the types of things she might choose for her topic: HSM, mermaids, fairies, the magic faraway tree, the beach, under the sea. But made it clear it was her choice.

She thought very seriously for a few minutes, very seriously, and finally decided, "Mummy I want to do my project on swine flu."

Well, what can you say to that?

Any suggestions for swine flue related activities gratefully received, please post a comment.

As for awe and wonder - back next post!

Delicious, delectable, desirable cake

Rowdy has wanted to make a cake for ages. Of course, not just a normal cake but a cake shaped like a dinosaur. Saturday provided the perfect opportunity: his best friends coming for tea. The morning was spent scouring Brixton for green and blue food colouring (for the record we couldn't find any without tartrazine so decided to take the risk and it was fine).

We whipped up a double batch of Victoria Sponge mix, filled a square tin and made a paper template to cut the dinosaur. When cooked and cooled we slathered him with lime green butter frosting and drew his eyes, scales and 'raaaaaahs' with blue icing.

Rowdy's expression as we created this magical creature was one of pure wonder... raaaaaah!

A glorious sunrise

Normally I am woken by Rowdy shouting: Mummy, mummy, I need a poo! He doesn't always, but knows it's guaranteed to get me up.

This morning a shouted whisper woke me. Frog: Mummy, come quick, there's the most beautiful sunrise outside. And indeed there was; the sky awash with pinks, apricots, oranges and purples was truly worth getting up for if only for a minute.

We stood together watching the colours change as the sun glinted on the clouds. The London rooftops and chimneypots silhoueted in that perfect juxtaposition between the natural and man made worlds.

Frog was silenced by awe and wonder, not something that happens often!

The magic of water

What is it about kids and water?

This weekend we spent a lot of time at the lido, we did a bit of swimming although too cold to stay in for hours. But had lots of fun. Just being near the water, hearing the splashing, paddling the toes, jumping in occasionally kept the kids happy for hours.

They'd never be as happy at home despite the toys, the tele, the 'entertainment'. Yet outside by the pool with a picnic they couldn't be happier.

Marvellous!

(What to do in winter? Fill the bath and let them at it!)

Breaking Bread

Food is always a source of great delight in our family and many wonderful weekends are spent with friends cooking, eating and drinking wine.

My first moment of awe and wonder this weekend was marvelling at how we have passed on the joy of breaking bread to our children. We were at a friends house house for 'tea' on Friday, and often these events are truly stressful tantrumfests. But not this week. The six children invited, aged from 2 to 8, sat around the table told stories and jokes to each other and ate a convival meal of pizza and salad, occassionally toasting each other (and each other's burps!) with French grenadine. It was brilliant: partly a glimpse into the future of their lives and partly a miniature mirror of our own.

Later that evening, my husband and I made fatayer for our picnic on Saturday, a delicious middle-eastern treat... a total faff to make. But we did it together, sharing a bottle of wine - stopping only to eat chicken barbecued with a harrissa marinade and to dance around the kitchen. Wonderful.

Saturday was a picnic at Kew Gardens with dear friends. We packed my granny shopping trolley with a feast and took the boat from Westminster Pier. Behaving like a tourist always reminds me of how awesome our capital city is: steeped in history, brimming with creativity and beautiful to look at from the Thames in the sunshine.

Kew Gardens itself is a magical place; there is always something new to see. Today there were giant sculptures of seed pods crafted from wicker. They were fantastic, the children loved them and so did we. (Last time we went, it was new born ducklings who wanted to share our picnic and the only place in London where the sun was shining).

We found a beautiful spot near the bottom of the lake to lay out our blanket and feast. We were joined by friends, opened some champagne and shared much laughter. Every now and then one of our group would wander off to look at something in the gardens: the treetop walk, the sackler crossing, the water lily house, where the lily pads are so enormous they would probably hold my five year old.

I spent much of the day thinking about my quest for awe and wonder and that whenever I think it doesn't exist I must just spend the day at Kew. It is an awe-inspiring place: from the beauty of the natural world, to man's desire to love and protect it. The best of it exists here.

Sunday was a lazy day, lounging with the papers at Brockwell Lido. London in the sunshine: awesome!

All in all a great weekend for awe and wonder. I'm enjoying the search; looking for the positive in things that surround me. After all it would have been very easy to feel extremely pissed off when: 1. my husband decided to get car insurance quotes just as we were about to leave the house on our way to Kew causing us to miss our boat, or 2. when my daughter refused to eat anything other than ice cream at our picnic on Saturday or 3. when I got a £120 fine for going into a box junction. Arse! Life can be as awful as awesome.

Day 1

Kids awake at 5.30 am. Hideous. Really want more sleep. But 'awe and wonder mum' decides just to enjoy two sleepy children coming for a cuddle. Awesome probably not, wonderful definitely yes!

In search of Awe and Wonder

It's late, but I've been meaning to start this for ages and if I don't do it now I won't ever. There's never enough time. Too much of all the bad stuff but never enough time.

I decided to start this blog as I start a new adventure, to find awe and wonder in the world. Not in a religious sense but as a way to redress some of the madness that I encounter on a daily basis.

Why awe and wonder? Firstly, my friend Lisa, who is also a governor at my kids' school, has been looking for it in the classroom. She's done quite a lot of research and gave a truly inspirational presentation about what it is, why it's important and how to create it. I want some of that at home. Secondly, my husband has taken to calling me a 'glass half empty kind of wife'; not a label I'm totally comfortable with. And, perhaps most importantly I thought it would be fun. I've spent my whole adult life working in media, treating everything with cynicism. I live in central London with its hectic pace, intolerant bus drivers and lots of noise. And my 5 year old is so 'hip' she calls me 'man'.

It's time to stop, take a breath and discover some magic in the universe.

This blog, I hope, will help me record my awe and wonder discoveries. I'd love you to join in too. Please do share your experiences of awe and wonder.